2012-13 Uncovered: Saturday 2nd March - Finders No Keepers At Rovers

   It was supposed to be the last vestiges of winter but quite frankly it felt like a typically freezing early January day.  The clouds were low and gloomy, a bit like Warwick Davies crossing India with Karl Pilkington.  The cold bit through you like Luis Suarez.  Yet again, another day for the die-hards and the loons.

   I was definitely in the latter.  I couldn't give a toss who won at Burroughs Park.  It was cheaper than faltering Southend United's Roots Hall thriller with Rotherham.  It was simply an afternoon at the match.  Which is better than the lunchtime offering Hearts served up.  The weather seemed to dovetail nicely with the mood at Tynecastle, the Jambos stuggling in the bottom three of the SPL and perilously close to extinction.

   It was in this cheery frame of mind that I wandered off for the number 4 bus to Burroughs Park.  Rovers, though, had struggles of their own.  Second in the ESL sounds decent enough, with the possibility of promotion back to the Ryman League in a runners-up place.  

   All was not well though.  Good runs were interspersed by damaging defeats.  The last five results were a case in point.  A couple of thumping five goal wins had been preceded by an inexplicable return of just one point out of nine from sides either struggling or in a poor vein of form.  It was killing their title hopes.  Trenks was finding out the hard way how tough this management lark can be.

   

Standing in their way this afternoon was a London Apsa side competitive but hamstrung by inconsistency.  They could beat any side in the ESL on their day but those days were few and far between.  They travelled perhaps more in the hope that the home side would have another off-day than expectation they would play Rovers off the park.

   As the brave souls huddled for some warmth it was fairly clear Rovers had turned up.  As I wander into the ground, wisely deciding on taking a later bus and missing the first five minutes or so to stay in the warmth for another half hour, a ball goes into the Apsa box and Ashley Hawkins bundles it in.

   Play generally is centred in and around the Apsa penalty area.  Rovers have their tails up.  It's bastard cold.  In this situation I don't blame the visitors for not looking too bright.  It takes me back decades, times where it was pissing down, we were getting clobbered, and thinking "Why the f*** do I bother?".  On days like this you know you're luck's out and that you have to just put up with a miserable day.

   

Your luck's pretty much out in these circumstances too.  An Apsa defender passes back to the keeper just after the half hour.  Trenks cuts down his angle as the ball reaches him.  He, like the rest of us, isn't expecting anything other than a kick upfield.  Simply trying to get him to slice his kick.

   He does better than that.  The kick is firm and straight.  Right into Trenks.  From the seats, it looks like the mid-riff.  It canons into the back of the net.  2-0.  The goalie is incandescent with rage, claiming handball.  Whether it was or not, the lino has the same view we did, correctly staying level with the last defender.  

   From the lino's view it looks like it came off the body.  It's all he can give.  The keeper starts to swear.  Chortle.  Trenks runs towards us for a subsequent throw-in, grinning.  "Was it handball, Trenks?", I ask.  

   His  reply was "It came off my elbow, as I was tucking in my arms to protect my body from his kick."  You could argue it was ball to hand (or elbow) rather than hand to ball.  Certainly no intent.  But, for Apsa, if your luck's out, it's out.

   The game meanders it's way through the cold, overcast day.  By early second half it's still 2-0 but Apsa are belatedly making a game of it.  A couple of near misses.  But then a slice of luck.  Courtesy this time of the host keeper.

   Louis comes out of his area, well outside, to clear a ball.  Did he really need to?  Whether he did or not, he's decided to.  That's what you want from a keeper, decisiveness.  You also want him to make sure he doesn't make an arse of his clearances though.

   This time, however, his kick goes straight to the grateful feet of an Apsa forward, who has the simple task of lobbing into an empty, unguarded net.  From a match drifting off into a comfortable win it's suddenly game on.  Both keepers will reflect on having had better days but at least it's made a dull afternoon much more fun.

   It seems to wake up Rovers, though.  Pressure resumes on the visitors penalty area.  It's quickly 3-1, then in the dying embers of the game, Ashley Hawkins gets a chance to double his goal tally from the penalty spot.

   

 

   In the end, a decent afternoon's entertainment on a bitterly cold day.  I'm thankful to both keepers for livening things up, though I doubt the management of either side share my view.  For Rovers, another 3 points on a bid to secure second place, with Burnham Ramblers almost out of sight at the top. For Apsa, just another game nearer the end of the season, nothing more, nothing less.

   I get home to find County have failed to win yet another derby and Sunderland continue to struggle.  With untold riches in the self obsessed world of the Premier League next season, I wonder how long it is before a manager and person as decent as Martin O'Neill, surrounded by prima-donna millionaires nowhere near as good as him in his playing days, is given the chop.  Days rather than months of years is my guess.

   I also wonder what the hell I was doing freezing my nads off for almost a nothing game this afternoon.  But then I think back to those keepers and grin.  Football is a cruel game.  But not if you've given up playing and instead watching others make the same mistakes you did.

   And on that note, chortle.

   Great Wakering Rovers 4,  London Apsa 1