The week had gone slowly, with luck conspicuous by its absence. Down to my last pair of jeans, ripped from the crotch all the way down the seam. Okay, no worries, put on shorts for half an hour, get some money for a bus fare from the cashpoint, buy the Asda version of 501's - by which I mean costing £5.01 - then get to Canvey. Reduced admission. Need every penny I can at the moment.
Meanwhile, the PA announcer does his best to match my undoubted record for not really paying much attention or knowing who's who. He announces the 'Wood number 7, Steve Butterworth, had been substituted. He, though, has the ball at his feet, running towards goal, not 10 yards away. Chortle.
Soham plug away though. There's a scramble inside the six yard box and suddenly the ball is in the back of the Brentwood net. Again. Robbie Mason. Again. Two hat tricks in the game now. Yep, I called this one right. Absolute stinker, isn't it. The away team are outdoing even my record. That's 88 goals in their 18 league games.
Get to the cashpoint. Refused even a balance but let me keep my card. So the fault is with the ATM's, not my card. Try another bank's. Then a store's. Exactly the same. It's happening to other punters too. All the ATM's in the Bay are down. It's far, far too cold to walk around in shorts searching for the nearest working cashpoint or the nearest store selling cheap jeans.
I have no alternative. Stay in. Miss out on another midweek. Try to stay warm. Then hope that Saturday brings a working cashpoint and a Brentwood Town match that isn't called off. The way my luck's going both of them are 50/50 at best.
Down comes the cold, down comes the frost, the rain, the freezing wind. It doesn't augur well. I finally get my George at Asds 501's, which in the end turn out to be a fiver. But then was doesn't augur well turns out okay. Sunlit blue skies on Saturday morning. Almost mild as well. An early pitch inspection are we're in business. Brentwood Town v Soham Town Rangers is on. Oh yes.
Nestled between an underpass of the A12 and a leisure centre, with a couple of residential areas in easy walking distance, you'd have thought the club would enjoy healthy attendances. But, despite being so close to a place specifically designed to encourage locals to take an interest in sport, the lack of crowd is startling.
You don't, of course, expect an excited throng queueing up at twenty past two, the time I get there. But the trickle remained just that right up until kick-off. It's one of those days where you could actually count the crowd. The unofficial Groyney total was 60. The club deserve far better. Play-off finalists a couple of years ago, and staffed by enthusiastic, warm and welcoming volunteers.
Perhaps it was the shenanigans earlier in the season, both on and off the pitch, that puts people off. It can't help the club's image when making the wrong sort of local headlines. It negates all the good work the people at every club do. Still, 60 for a game between two potential play-off contenders, it's still a poor show from a densely populated area.
Play-off contenders may look to be stretching it a bit for the home side, in 17th place, some nine or 10 points adrift. But with up to six games in hand on those above, a winning sequence will put them right up there. As for Soham, they already are in the mix, 7th after an appalling start. Ex Histon boss Jim Fallon knows his stuff and Soham were starting to reap the benefits.
I'm not sure what it is but I seem to have a knack at the moment of choosing the right games for the radio. The last eight were all score draws, with last minute and injury time equalisers in seven of them. 12 goals in the last five minutes. And 34 in total. Not a win in sight though.
Surely that run has to end though? Perhaps I'm due a stinker. And I don't mean the smell of stew from the clubhouse. A dull 0-0 or a terrible low scoring win one way or the other was what I'm anticipating. After the week I've had, the weekend is bound to follow suit.
In goal for Brentwood is a Spurs loanee. He couldn't have made a worse start to the game. He mishits his kick, straight to a Soham forward, only about 20 yards out, completely unmarked. He says thank you very much and shoots firmly on target after a moment of control and a pace or two forwards. The keeper, Jonathan Miles, redeems himself with a superb save. My, what a dull start.
It's an emerging pattern, Brentwood Town mistakes followed by Soham Town Rangers being denied by good goalkeeping or bad finishing. In between all that, the home side have a goal disallowed. Their dugout is raging. Chortle. For a 0-0 it's a damn good one.
Eventually, after 25 minutes, Robbie Mason doesn't pass up an opportunity presented by the Wood defence. 1-0 to Soham. Brentwood's in trouble here. I'm just hoping they can hang on for an hour. Then they can rely on my track record for featured live Phoenix FM matches. This could be tense. But boring it ain't.
Alex Read, though, decides to take things into his own hands. He has a couple of shots at the Soham Town Rangers goal. Dan Bircham is up to the task though, with one good save and a great one. The visitors fail to heed the warning and do nothing to stem the supply down the Brentwood Town right. Alex has three more shots in 10 minutes. Suddenly Brentwood Town are 3-1 up. Alex Read has a hat-trick to his name.
Still not finished though. Another run into the area. This time a pass to Abs Thompson. He puts it away. After being nervous, jittery and behind after 25 minutes, Brentwood Town go into the break somehow 4-1 ahead. You can see the look of shock on the away side as they head off down the tunnel. They don't know what's hit them, Another cracker for the Phoenix FM archives already.
The fun continues in the second half. Daryl Robson seemingly makes it safe at 5-1. Robbie Mason, however, replies in kind. 5-2 with not an hour played. The pressure mounts on the home goal at the Land of Leather End. A Luke Stanley shot goes inches over. A free header from a corner is even closer and really should have been in. Despite the three goal advantage, the nerves are jamgling.
Meanwhile, the PA announcer does his best to match my undoubted record for not really paying much attention or knowing who's who. He announces the 'Wood number 7, Steve Butterworth, had been substituted. He, though, has the ball at his feet, running towards goal, not 10 yards away. Chortle.
For some reason, away supporters shout at me at the obvious error. They think I'm the PA man. Perhaps they've heard me in action before. I shrug my shoulders, smile, and say "Why tell me? I couldn't give a monkey's."
Their faces are sullen, miserable. Then the actual PA man then steps out after correcting his mistake. The Soham contingent fall silent, realising they've had a pop at the wrong bloke and made themselves look like dicks. Chortle. Again.
The players on the pitch interrupt the banter by carrying on being surreal. There's a home break in the 80th minute and Abs Thompson is fouled on the right hand edge of the area. He wasn't. It was obviously inside. The Brentwood players point out that the lino, no more than 15 yards away, is giving the penna. The ref has a chat with him and gives the spot kick. 6-2. Alex Read with four of them.
Soham plug away though. There's a scramble inside the six yard box and suddenly the ball is in the back of the Brentwood net. Again. Robbie Mason. Again. Two hat tricks in the game now. Yep, I called this one right. Absolute stinker, isn't it. The away team are outdoing even my record. That's 88 goals in their 18 league games.
As the Phoenix FM studios are next door to the Arena, I hot-foot it there. Or, more accurately, bloody frozenly cold-foot it. Dave and Joe are on good form. There's lots of chat, and subjects vary from one second to the next, not all about sport. It's like three blokes in the pub discussing what's going on. Much better than the serious analysis. The hour flies by.
I return home, heartened by the brief spell away from the increasingly depressing and difficult course of everyday life. There's still a lot of problems to be confronted one way or another. The next couple of months, at the very least, are going to be very, very tough. Football at the moment really is my only release from a fair grim reality.
Get through it I will though. Hope always springs eternal. Just like Brentwood Town's play-off charge.
For them, and me, it really is game on.
Brentwood Town 6, Soham Town Rangers 3
No comments:
Post a Comment