Wednesday 19 September 2012

2012-13 Uncovered: Monday 17th September - Always Look On The Oakside Of Life

   It had to be done.  For no other reason than I didn't want to stay in and watch the telly. 

   It's very rare that I choose to go to a game on my own.  It's the social aspect of the match I like, chatting to mates, burping over the hot drinks, and occasionally glancing at the 22 idiots arsing around on the pitch.  When I am on my todd, it's almost always because of radio duties, so I'm kept occupied throughout.

   Tonight, though, was different.  I didn't want to waste a warm late summer's evening.  I knew that come winter time, with my dodgy bodily parts, midweek games will have to be down to bare essentials of if the radio need someone there or my mate has a big warm car and that.  But now, I could just put on the usual 17XL polo shirt and head out, leaving the shite TV to itself.

   And the cause of today's solo effort?  The excitement of an exciting Essex Senior Cup clash between the Barkingside Exciters and Bowers & Pitsea Excited.  Although I may be bigging it up a little.  Then again, if ESPN can pass off Liverpool as free flowing entertainers, which they've tried in the past fortnight, then my ironic hype probably has more reality to it.

   Thinking of reality, lovely to see the Man. U Supporters Trust claiming that the "It's never your fault, always the victim" chants at their game the other day had nothing to do with the findings of the Hillsborough Report. 

   Disgusting behaviour from a tiny, tiny minority at Old Trafford has now been compounded exponentially by the disgusting denial from their supporters club.  Can't think why I drifted into non-league.  Have fun at Anfield this week, chaps, and leave being human to the rest of us.

   I digress.  After their customary shaky start, Bowers had put together a nice little run.  Barkingside, meanwhile, had been consistently good from the off.  The last time they were this consistent was about five years ago. 

   They looked title bound was bottom club Basildon United showed up, with a squad of just 11, one of which was unfit and unable to run.  Barkingside won, but only thanks to 2 late goals.  Their confidence evaporated, despite the win, and in the end lost the title on the last day of the season.  They hadn't recovered since.

   Oakside itself has always been one of my favourite grounds.  Easy to get to, a good clubhouse, nice looking women in the burger bar, and a main stand that shakes every time a Central line tube trundles past.  But mainly for the women.

   As luck would have it, Rob was there. Or Damon as he's known, to nobody else except me, on account of his greying locks being similar to Damon Hill's in the late 90's and early 00's.  Being one of the Essex FA chaps, he had his reporters notepad and camera at the ready.  I enjoyed the contrast, me just here for the fun of it for a change, whilst my buddy was the one working.

   We didn't have much time to watch before Rob was scribbling and clicking away.  A high ball into the area, the keeper can't deal with it, and perennial goal poacher Calvin Poku gets his head to it on the bounce and bundles it home.

   It's just as well he scored then, because he then spent the rest of the first half being the playground goal hanger.  The lino's flag was up and down more times than a quiet night in with Imogen Thomas.  I liked the cur of the lino's jib too.  "You're crap, lino", moaned one Bowers player after another obvious offside, to which came the response "I'd look at your own crappiness first before having a go at me."  Touche.  And top man.

     

   Even the Bowers coaching staff cottoned on, shouting at their forward line "You're just being f*****g lazy c***s.", much to the amusement of everyone.  He was spot on, though, and a minute before half time, Bowers were made to pay for their forwards wastefulness when Reece Cosson equalised.

   If truth be told, the match wasn't great, and we were relieved that if it was still level at full time, it was straight to penalties.  Up to the hour mark and beyond, and still not much to warm the cockles of the heart, or even the winkles.  Then, from nothing, Jamie Clarke got free on the left inside the area, and finished nicely.  2-1 to Bowers.

   But not for long.  Barkingside kick off, play a nice move down the right, at the bottom of the slope, Reece Cosson is free inside the area, and shoots home smartly despite the keeper clattering into him.  Liquid football and it's a proper game on at 2-2.

  

   From thereon in it was a superb spectacle.  The thing about extra time is that it makes players frightened of making mistakes in the last 20 minutes or so, and is often awful to watch.  But none of the players, except perhaps the keepers, want penalties, so both teams go for the winner.  Barkingside hit the post, but then in the dying seconds Bowers' second scorer Jamie Clarke, having rounded the goalkeeper, with no defenders near him, missed an open goal from 10 yards.  Chortle.

   And so to penalties.  All of them were well taken.  What was made even better was the supporters behind the goal.  "Caaaaaaam ouhnnnn  Barrrrrrrrrkingsiiiiiiiiide" was shouted out, followed by "Sssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".  It put me in mind of the Crucible.  I joined in. with "Go on Ronnie, go on Jimmy."  One Barkingside player hits the crossbar.  The Bowers keeper Michael Doyle has a chance to win it.  Oops.  Off the post.



   He redeems himself a couple of kicks later with the first save of the shoot-out.  Reece Brandon steps up and takes it like a pro.  6-5 to Bowers.  Their players run 10 yards towards the match winner, then decide they can't be arsed and instead shake hands with their beaten opponents.  One of the coaches, Wayne, looks even happier than before kick-off, when he was stuffing a burger down pretty sharpish.



   Rob and I scuttle off into the night.  He points out that the two sides are meeting up next Monday, too.  Did I fancy it?  Hmmm, well, there's only so much excitement I can take.  As David Beckham might say, you know, Monday night tv, is terribly under-rated, you know .....

   Barkingside 2,  Bowers & Pitsea 2  (Bowers & Pitsea win 6-5 on penalties)

  

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